Screen time at home: simple family rules that actually work

Screens are part of family life now: homework, video calls with grandparents, videos, games and messages. Banning them rarely lasts, and a free-for-all doesn't work either. What helps most is a few clear rules that the whole family agrees on, and keeps.

1. Make the rules together

Rules that children help to make are rules they are more likely to keep. Sit down as a family, agree on a few simple rules, write them down and put them where everyone can see them. Our free family screen agreement gives you a page to fill in together.

2. Choose screen-free times and places

Clear times and places are easier to keep than a count of minutes. Many families start with these:

• No screens at meals
• No screens in the hour before bed
• Phones and tablets charge outside bedrooms at night
• Homework first, then screens

3. Think about what, not only how long

An hour of a good documentary is not the same as an hour of endless short videos. Know the apps and games your children use, set up children's profiles and parental controls, and for younger children, keep devices in shared rooms rather than behind closed doors.

For the youngest children, the advice is clear. The World Health Organization recommends no screen time for children under two, and no more than an hour a day for children aged two to four, with less being better. For older children, the question is less about a number and more about whether screens are crowding out sleep, homework, play, prayer and time together.

4. Replace, don't just remove

Taking a screen away leaves a gap, and boredom fills it with complaints. Have other things ready: books within reach, board games, outdoor play, helping in the kitchen, drawing and building. A good-habits chart on the fridge can turn reading or helping at home into something to be proud of.

5. Go first

Children copy what we do far more than what we say. If we want phones away at dinner, ours need to be away too. Let your children see you reading, praying and talking without a phone in your hand.

6. Give warnings and use timers

Stopping in the middle of a game or a video is hard for anyone. Give a five-minute warning, use a timer your child can see, and where you can, stop at a natural break, like the end of an episode or a level.

7. Keep talking

Ask what they enjoy online and why. Watch or play with them sometimes. Most importantly, make sure they know they can come to you if something online upsets or scares them, and that they won't lose their device for telling you. Children who fear punishment stay quiet.

8. Look at the rules again every few months

Rules that suit a seven-year-old won't suit a thirteen-year-old. Look at your agreement again every few months and change what isn't working. Older children can take on more responsibility as they show they can handle it.

If screens have become a source of constant arguments at home, you don't have to work it out alone. Our parenting guidance covers screens, habits and routines. Write to us to ask about a session.